Argh. Maxis Broadband is at it again! Stupid DSL light keeps blinking. Ever since I installed this damn modem like 6-8 months ago, it has been giving me problems, day in day out. I can safely that I am the person that appears the most number of times in their call logs.
Thank God the 1800 is toll-free. Otherwise, I would have really kicked their asses. Just imagine, you give me a bloody unstable connection, and you still wanna charge me for that?!?! I somehow feel like there's a conspiracy behind this whole thing. Every Thursday, whenever I wanna logon to the Internet, it always doesn't seem to work. Perhaps the modem has bad karma with Thursdays. I really don't know and I don't have the time to unravel the mystery yet.
But anyway, here's a brief encounter with the supposedly-helpful "Consultant" (how dare they name themselves like those ppl who work at Accenture!!).
Guy at the end of the line: Hello, welcometoMaxisBroadbandhowmayIhelpyou? (Seriously, that's the speed that they always talk in. He mentioned his name somewhere in that gibberish, but I didn't catch it and PLUS, I was too pissed off to be asking for his name)
Me: (rolling my eyes) Good evening (yea, I know. Sadly, I was still up chatting with some guy who can't enunciate English words properly at 1040pm). My DSL light is blinking (after the 100th time, I just couldn't be bothered to introduce myself or give him my BB account number).
Guy at the end of the line: OK, no problem. May I hef (yup, that's how he pronounced it) your name?
Me: My name is........ (I knew he would definitely screw up my name so I just told him my IC number so that he can check my authenticity). My IC number is **********68.
Guy at the end of the line: OK, Ms Tan (see?! point proven). I repeat again (don't ppl know that this is an overly-used incorrect phrase?!?) your IC number is **********68.
Me: (Can you pls hurry your damn ass up?). Yes correct.
Guy at the end of the line: Can I pls have your address?
Me: (*gritting my teeth while telling my address*) .......................................
Guy at the end of the line: No problem (what an appropriate response) OK, so your DSL light is blinking yea? (yea, that's what I said, you fool)
Me: Can you pls help me check what the problem seems to be? (here we go) Ever since I installed the modem a few months ago, it has been giving me problems. Sometimes, it's stable, sometimes it's not. Everytime I disconnect and reconnect, it doesn't seem to work. You know, I'm so afraid to disconnect because I might not be able to reconnect again (the guy was probably nodding his head in sympathetic confusion).
Guy at the end of the line: OK, no problem (seriously, what's wrong with this dude?). Let me check your connection yea. Give me a minute
(puts me on hold while polluting my ears with the same damn Maxis Broadband ad. Did I mention that I was put on hold for like 5 minutes? Seriously, it's just a modem, not E=MC2)
Guy at the end of the line: OK, I have checked in the system. Your DSL light is blinking yea (that's what I said, you imbecile!). I will escalate this issue to the 2nd level (wow, would that be Obama?) and they will reset the port for you. So, what you do is, switch off the modem now and wait for 1 hour. After 1 hour (that would be 1140pm), pls try and switch on the modem again. If the problem still persist, pls call us back because the Technical Department close at 12am (gee, why didn't I think of that?)
Me: OK, fine. But I'm telling you. I have done this before and it didn't work. What if it still doesn't work? Will you send a technician over? Cuz I need to use the Internet tomorrow morning.
Guy at the end of the line: No problem (can someone pls send this guy for English class?). You can call us and we will make the appointment with the technician.
Me: OK fine, thanksgoodbye (couldn't wait to hang up)
When I hung up, he was probably still reciting from his cue card "Thank you for calling Maxis Broadband. Is there anything else that I can do for you?"
And, as expected, when I checked again at 1140pm, the DSL light was still blinking. I should have just slept at 1040pm. When I called again, no one picked up.
