Manila Trip (Day 1, Feb 18 2011)

Day 1

My very first outstation trip of the year. Yes!! I was so looking forward to it. Firstly because my wonderful and awesome MA friends are there and secondly, there is Mr Tony Fernandes to thank for such cheap flight tickets (but I'm still dissatisfied that I had to pay my airport tax when I returned. Anyway, that's a separate story, I will take it offline with you Mr Fernandes).

Rina and I woke up as though we had to sahur (Malay language for eating like there's no tomorrow during the fasting month). Well, Rina had it worse cuz I think she woke up at 3am and only managed to get a 2 hours' worth of shut-eye prior to that. As for me, I have my house location to thank for. Only 20 minutes away from LCCT. Ah, the little things in life :)

Anyway, flight was at 7:25am via AK662. Reached there around 5:30am and went for check-in. Flight departure was delayed for 30min or so (damn you AA!), so obviously that would translate to us reaching Philippines (from hereon shall be known as PH). So when we reached around 11:30am or so, I texted Teddy (our multi-role-playing MA friend, as shall be demonstrated later).

We landed at this airport which is like 2 hours away from Manila city (kill me!) and which would also obviously mean that Teddy had to drive ALLLLL the way to the airport and brave through the 2 hours journey back to Manila as well. Now, this is the moment where I have to express my utmost gratitude for such wonderful hospitality shown by my friends. *sob sob*

Anyway, when we landed, the first thing that came to my mind was, "Was Lotte pulling my leg when she told me that the weather in Manila has been around 25 degrees or so?" Man!!! It was scorching hot and I could see poor Teddy running towards his parked car like 200 meters away (with no umbrella!).

So, yea, Teddy eventually came to pick up our luggage (and us) and we drove back to Manila city. Wow, if you thought jams in KL were bad, you are absolutely wrong. Come to Manila and experience the joys of driving in bad jams and bad drivers (with offensive/ defensive driving skills). But the horror of being stuck in a jam wasn't that bad cuz there were some pretty interesting sights to be marvelled at. Reference below.

Yan: Oh wow, banana plants

Teddy: Nope, those are just grass (said nonchalantly with a Tagalog accent)

Yan: Okayyy.... (silence for the next 5 minutes)

Rina and I in the car, while Teddy went to answer nature's call.

Ahh, coloured air. We have that in KL as well.

Billboards. Like really, lots of 'em.

They are HUGE.

....and distracting.

Now you see what I mean?

This is their version of LRT/KTM/monorail.

Cheap and widely available.

After taking like 20.5 light years to reach the Manila city, we headed straight to Eastwood Mall (which is like super near to the Citibank Consumer building). Went to one of the restaurants for Thai food.

I love Citibank.

Ooo la la.

Waiters and waitresses going the extra mile; performing to a song and dance. In fact, I was made to understand that the traffic policeman do that as well. Too bad I did not have a chance to witness it.

Pretty cool huh?

Prior to going to PH, friends have warned me to be careful due to the recent incidents that took place in Manila (bombing, kidnapping, etc). However, when I reached to the city, I got the exact opposite feeling. So for those that are having doubts about going to PH, here is when I do my sales pitch: GO! You would feel so much more at home than you are in Malaysia or anywhere else in Asia. People there are super friendly and they speak very sweet-sounding English. I could not have been more amazed by their hospitality. It is really indeed PH (Philippine Hospitality), unlike some stupid-ass country that claims to provide that kind of hospitality as well. You know what I'm talking about.

So yea, back to my story. In the midst of having our Thai food (can you believe it? came all the way for Thai food? the irony), Lotte showed up and after that, we proceeded to this mall for a little shopping :)

OH MAI GAWD. You would not believe how HUGE their malls are. This mall that I went to (and it's not even the biggest one yet) was seriously huge. Probably twice the size of Mid Valley. There was so many of everything, dresses, tops, shoes, bags, this that knick knack paddy whack. I bought 3 baby cardigans and a pair of slippers. Guess how much were the cardigans?

When I went to the cashier to pay, I was again WOW-ed by such amazing hospitality and customer service. There were 3 ladies at the cashier; 2 of the ladies were looking through my cardigan, I was like "Come on people, just get on with it already. I have more shopping to do!"

Then suddenly one of the ladies said to me, "Excuse me ma'am, there is a slight defect (some loose threads forming a 1mm hole on my pink cardigan) on this cardigan. Would you still like to proceed?". That moment, I felt like I was the Queen of the world, getting such VIP treatment. Then I asked her back, "Erm, is there another spare at the rack? Do you want me to go to the rack and get it?". She replied, "No ma'am, just wait here. We will get it for you."

As I recollect on my experience that day, I thought to myself, "Where on earth in KL can you see our cashiers doing that?" In fact, they would even try to hide the defect and quickly try to sell it off. Our Malaysian customer service staff can definitely learn something from this experience.

Anyway after all that, we headed to Greenbelt to have dinner and also to meet up with the rest of the MAs.

Yes, we came all the way to Manila to have Thai food. I bet that's the irony that Pol's considering as he flashes us with that smile of his. But food's great, no complaints :)

We The Kings performing at Greenbelt. The day could not have been any better :)

After chilling and catching up over dinner for more than 4 hours (I think!) at the Thai place, we decided to call it quits for the night.

Tomorrow's gonna be sight-seeing day! Yee-hah!

The Chicken Drama

Dear KFC,

As a Kentucky fried chicken eater, I would like to point out a couple of matters on the service level at one of your outlets.

It was a cold night and I was hungry. So, I decided to go to your outlet to buy a Variety Bucket and also to stock up on my stash of caffeine (Nescafe) at Giant. But the latter point isn't really relevant, but then again, come to think of it, it IS relevant (as shall be demonstrated later).

So, when I entered your outlet, I saw that there were 4 counters open for operation. Each counter had about 4 person lining up then. So, me being a really random and yet logical person, I decided to do a little mental math + stereotyping + wild guessing at the people waiting in line. I ended up lining up at the 2nd queue from the left.

That time was 9:25pm. [See how loyal I am? There was McD just across the road, but I decided to go to you instead].

The 1st lady lining up then was still looking at the menu and contemplating as to what to eat [obviously being very inconsiderate towards the hungry people lining up behind her, for one- me!]. But obviously that's out of your control, so I understand and shall not blame you for that. However, your staff manning the counter was all gay and welcoming and decided to wait with her. Can you imagine? The lady took 5 minutes to utter out what she wanted, AND your staff was an accomplice who took away 5 minutes of our lives.

OK after she had decided, here comes the horror. Nope, not cockroaches, but worse. Your staff was busy scrambling and running around looking for god-knows-what.

So, yeah, after the 4th person, it was already 9:55pm. Can you imagine? It took you 30 minutes to serve 4 people!! Wow, at the rate you're going and if you're not profiting exorbitantly from the Zinger Tower, you must not be making a lot of money. At that time, the 3 other people lining up behind me was already starting to mutter out curse words and sighing and shaking their heads. Oh thank God none of them took out a gun (or a parang in the Malaysian context) and started killing everyone at the scene. Seriously, in America, these things happen.

So, yea, it came my turn, and oh yeah, remember the statement above about the relevance of the caffeine stash story? I shall tell you the relevance now. My brother, who was lining up at Giant paying for my Nescafe the same time when I started waiting for your chickens (had 15 people queueing up in front of him) and he came back when I was just about to order my chickens. Hmm, kinda ironic huh? You figure it out yourself.

Anyway, came my turn. So I told him straight up. "Hi. Take-away. Variety Bucket. That's all". I saved everyone else the misery of "Hi, Selamat datang ke KFC. Apa yang boleh saya bantu?" [See how many syllables there are in that line?].

I looked at the display monitor which said "Hi. Nama saya Hanisah". I was thinking, "Man, Hanisah must be on some sick leave and they asked this poor trainee to take over her place". Anyway, this dude must be so new to the game that he didn't know which button to press on the cashier. So, he asked this other lady on the 1st counter, "Kak, Variety Bucket yang mana ah?". I rolled my eyes and gritted my teeth.

So, that took away 30 seconds of my life. After he had punched in the button, he scrambled to look for the chickens and everything else the Bucket is supposed to have. See, I'm usually a very patient person, but this was really pushing my limits. I could tell that he has no clue what the Variety Bucket is supposed to have, cuz he kept looking at the big-ass menu on top of him.

3 pieces of Original chicken
3 pieces of Hot & Spicy chicken
1 (L) Nuggets
1 (R) Wedges
2 whipped potato

Not rocket science. How did I memorise that? Staring at the big-ass menu myself for 10 minutes while waiting for him to fill up the bucket kinda helps me to memorize.

Oh, apparently the nuggets are still frying. So, he came back to me and gave me a paper cup, with the bottom written "6" [yeah, that's my waiting number and I was told to wait for 5 minutes].

So I paid him and he asked, "Ada apa lagi yang boleh saya bantu?" I was tempted to say, "Yeah, shoot me and then go shoot yourself".

I took my almost-full Bucket and went to the seats and waited with my brother [who by that time had already engaged in a 20-minute phone conversation]. After waiting for 5 minutes as instructed, I took the paper cup back to the counter to "Hanisah" and gave my "WTF look" and showed him the "6".

He completely ignored me, as though I was invisible and continued to run around scrambling for more chickens.

So, finally after 3 minutes, he noticed me! Yay!! Hallelujah!!

He scrambled again and screamed, "Large nuggets dah siap belum?"

Yeah, 2 minutes later it was siap-ed. I took the nuggets and asked him for sauce and serviettes. He grabbed a bunch and handed them to me. I was like, "Where am I supposed to keep these? In my Doraemon pocket? Give me a plastic bag for Goodness' sake!"

He got the idea and dumped everything in a plastic bag and gave to me. I grabbed it and headed for the door, cuz it was already 10:15pm.

Now, KFC, you tell me what was wrong in the picture above and how can you improve it?

Wow, MBB, I'm impressed.

Ever since I got that letter from Maxis Broadband informing me that I have been "upgraded" from a 100mbps to 200mbps connection, I have always been curious....








as to why my internet connection is so friking fast!!

Seriously, it's even faster than a 200mbps. I would know cuz I have worked on a 1gbps line before. So, I was doing a little confirmation on my side. I went to the Start menu, then to Connections, and this sight nearly made me fall off my chair.




Wow. Period.

Loud ppl

I have lots of pet peeves. I cannot take it when there are slow drivers in front of me (when they drive like they're cruising on the road like it's some Sunday evening), too much wasabi (that's when there's this very pungent strong sensation at the back of your medulla oblongata), a person who has really bad breath (ewwww) and many other things.

However, another 2 things that I cannot take are when:

(A) a person is loud. And when I say loud, it means that whenever this person talks, you can hear him/her (although you're trying very very hard to focus on whatever it is that you're doing). Loud also means that whenever this person talks, you just feel like taking whatever it is that you're wearing on your feet (the smellier, the better) and throwing it at his/her face.

(B) when this loud person cannot speak English. Seriously man, all you can hear is "ching chong chang zing yo mo ma" (FYI- I understand and can speak the Chinese Language just fine. So, don't tell me that I'm being inconsiderate when I'm being the exact opposite).

So, let me take you back to 2 mornings ago. I woke up 30 min earlier than usual cuz I had some office work to do. So ok fine, I took the earlier train, hoping and praying and knowing pretty well that the crowd that takes the early train are usually "quiet" (cuz they would be just like me, waking up early and "redeeming" the lost sleep by napping in the train).

There I was, napping peacefully until the train stopped at BTS station.

Came in this Chinese lady and her bf/husband/companian/soulmate/better-half. When she started talking, all hell just broke loose.

Woman: ni ching chong chang ching song mo ma (FYI- I'm just making up all these words cuz I couldn't be bothered to be listening to her talk)

After 2 seconds....

Woman: mo so dang ding diu ler li la ma nong..........

After 2 seconds.........

Woman: leh li loh yu tha hue het fong fang fing fong

OH EM GEE!!!!

I really beh tahan (that's what Hokkiens say when they can't take it anymore). When I opened my eyes to see the face of the person that was making all the ruckus, I saw her. Standing 1 metre away from me, leaning against the railing, hands on her luggage handle, arms holding on to some fur coat (poor animals) and big hair, heavy makeup and no English (and obviously no courtesy as well).

Everyone was already awake by then. Obviously, they looked irritated and annoyed cuz someone stole away their napping time. Seriously, for workslaves like us, SLEEP is a very important word and activity. So important til we sometimes put sleep as our hobby and interests. Talk about being deprived.

Anyway, back to this woman. She kept talking and talking and talking as though there was no tomorrow (speaking of which, I need to go and watch 2012). Her bf just nodded and mumbled a few words, while sheepishly looking at the irritated passengers (me!) and offering an apologetic smile.

Finally, after 15 minutes of torture (trust me, 15 minutes is a LONG time), we arrived at KL Sentral. Peace and quiet at last.

As she was walking out of the train, I noticed her boots. Guess what made me laugh?

Around the boots, there were words plastered around. And they said, "NIU BAO".

Indeed, Made in China.

I would have loved to take a picture to prove my point and also to make your day, but unfortunately my phone makes that awful loud noise that goes "ching!!" whenever you snap a picture. I on the other hand, do not want to make her perasan (flatter) by thinking that I admire her boots.

OH EM GEE!!!

Keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding brow

It was my saloon ritual day, so I went to Sim's saloon. Since I have become her "preferred/loyal" customer, she has reduced the price and also given me an extra service. I actually do not know what this "extra service" is called in English, but if u were to look at the picture below, you would go "a ha"!

OK anyway, after blowdrying, diffusing and applying the curl retainer, she (ah I got it, the word!) trimmed my eyebrows using a blade. The blade was new and she was probably in a rush home for dinner, so this happened.

drumroll
Drumroll
DRumroll
DRUMroll
DRUMRoll
DRUMROll
DRUMROLl
DRUMROLL

Come to think of it, I think I recall why she accidentally cut my skin. She was telling this story of how the burglars nowadays are getting bolder. A couple of houses away from hers, a burglary happened. The owner of this burglarised home (Mr X) was not very close to his surrounding neighbours. So, everyday he would leave for work early morning and then come home late at night. He would not mix or even greet his neighbours. Nobody knows how he looks like or whether or not he's got wife or kids (cuz they're kinda like phantoms).

So what happened was, one day, this big-ass truck stopped in front of his house. The other neighbours thought that he was moving away cuz he never told anyone anything. There were like 3 males and 2 females (and even kids!) moving stuff into the lorry. They moved EVERYTHING (including the curtains and rubbish bin). They even had the guts to wave goodbye at this auntie who was perplexedly looking at them.

So when Mr X came home that night, you can literally hear his first word echoing throughout the neighourhood, "Nooooooooooooooooo!!!"

Why?

Questions that will never get a truly satisfactory answer:

Why am I tired all the time?
Why isn't there a decent tailor in Nilai that can make a simple dress?
Why are the Chinese tailors making baju kurung instead of cheongsam?
Why has it always been raining in KL during 4-5pm?
Why can't I leave office 1 hour earlier if I skipped lunch or came in 1 hour earlier?
Why is that lady screaming her head off into the phone?
Why do my students never remember my lessons?
Why is that guy staring at me?
Why doesn't my mum listen to my advice?
Why does my brother go to the cyber cafe ALL the time?
Why is P&G Singapore using Kimberly-Clark products?
Why do we have to wait so long for a lift, when there are 12 functioning lifts in the same floor?
Why don't Malaysians line up at anywhere?
Why is that Indonesian man talking so loudly into his handphone?
Why do we have to judge whether a person's LV is real or fake?
Why do we have to pay service charge at a DIY restaurant?
Why are there so many hotels, houses and shoplots in Nilai?
Why can't Malaysia have a decent road sign that ACTUALLY points you into the right direction?
Why are people so obsessed with fb, Iphone and Twitter?


Why do I have so many questions unanswered?

How inconsiderate :(

OK so yesterday was Deepavali. And I came to realise that Indians too play with firecrackers on Deepavali.


Starting from 7pm yesterday, "noise" (as I would like to term it) started polluting the air.
Noise continues at 730pm.
More noise at 8pm.
Noise.
Noise.
All the way up to friking midnight.

All the friking firecrackers just somehow miraculously landed right behind my house. Everytime they went off, I had a near heart attack. Seriously damn loud.

Even when I was watching TV in the living room, the noise somehow managed to follow me right in front of my car porch. Damn buggers.

I had to turn up the TV volume so loud that it sounded like a surround sound system in the cinema. Even that I couldn't hear Josh Duhamel talk. It was just bits and pieces. Plus, the episode was damn "kancheong" (exciting/nail-biting kind) cuz Delilah was kidnapped. Anyway, for those of you who watch Las Vegas, you would know exactly what I'm referring to.

Anyway, back to the issue at hand. I was so pissed off cuz I couldn't watch my Josh. My parents were also damn annoyed cuz they couldn't sleep. So, in the end, all of us just stormed into the living room with very pissed off looks on our faces. Like it was any of our fault.

Me: Why the hell are they playing firecrackers at this time of the hour?
Mum: How would I know?
Me: Can't we report to the police or sth? Let the police catch and fine those idiots.
Mum: Yea sure, by the time the police come, these buggers would be at home sleeping already.
Me: Oh yea. *burst out laughing cuz I know EXACTLY what my mum was talking abt*

Expired license

OMG OMG OMG.

This has never ever happened to me. EVER.

I was going through my wallet and I realised that my driving license had expired!! For 6 months!

OMG. All these while, I have been driving without knowing it! I have been driving everyday!! The chances of me being caught was 31+30+31+31+30+17=153+17=170 times! OMG, make that 340 times (for the return journey). When I saw the expiry date on my license, I had to ask my students to verify the expiry date (in case my eyes were playing tricks on me). Indeed, expiry was 30th April 2009. How come I had always had the impression that the expiry was on 2011? Must be my passport. Damn.

So, after my class I drove home (in terror) praying that there wouldn't be any road blocks. (Police don't work during Deepavali, right?). Skeptical.

Thank God I reached home safe and unfined.

Great. Mummy has agreed to renew the license for me (after a lot of nagging).

"Why you never check your license ah?"
"You know how much you will kena saman anot?"
"Aiseh man, you so lucky"

Bla bla bla.

OK, point to note is damage had already been done and she is humane enough to help her daughter out.

Phew! God has mercy. I should pray more.

The Maxis Broadband epic story

OK, I have nothing against Maxis broadband, but I just wanna talk abt it. Merely because they continue to evoke all sorts of emotions in me. The last emotion that they evoked was of anger and frustration. This time around, I must say, it's rather a pleasant one. I must say, I'm pretty surprised at the letter I got yesterday.

Here goes:

Dear Maxis Broadband User,

Thank you for choosing Maxis broadband (yea, like I have a choice).

Congratulations! (oh boy, what now?) We are excited to inform you that we have upgraded your ADSL service (OK, what's the catch?). This is part of our initiative to serve our customers better by providing a smoother and stable internet connection while using our Maxis Wired Broadband (ADSL) service (See? A few angry phone calls DO work after all, only a couple months too late).

This package upgrade allows you to enjoy a better surfing experience at no extra charge to your current package price (Yea, if you're planning to charge me for the "so-called-upgrade", you are gonna get a real whopping in the ass).

The end.

Stupid hairdresser

OK, I was finishing up my Sunday classes. So, usually, I would go to the saloon afterwards for a hair pampering session. It's a ritual thing. You girls would understand, you guys won't.

So, I jumped into the car and drove straight to my favourite hairdresser (for washing and blow-drying, the other fave one for rebonding and perming is in Johor, but that's a whole diff story). There I was, excited as usual (despite this being a weekly thing) driving to Sim's saloon (yea, that's her name). To my dismay (after the 10 minute drive), when I reached, her saloon was closed.

I was truly disappointed cuz I never (I mean, NEVER) go to other saloons in this town. There are like about 10-15 saloons here. So, my mum, being the adventurous one (I'm pretty sure she has frequented almost all the saloons here), suggested that I go for this new saloon which just opened recently.

OK, I decided to go for it. After all, wth eh? It's just a hair wash. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Mum told me where it was, so I drove there.

From the outside, the saloon looked like one of those dodgy little property sales office. Kinda hard to describe for those who have never been to a sales office. When I entered, the pungent smell of cigarettes just attacked my nostrils. God! Felt like suffocating. Was trying very hard not to wiggle my nose in disgust.

Never mind that. I forgave her. No customer was there. So, guess what she was doing?

She was playing mah-jong. Typical auntie-ish-saloon fave past time. Her back was facing mine while she was playing with 2 other dodgy-looking uncles. Come to think of it now, dodgy sounds like an understatement. *shivers*

I greeted her, telling her that I needed a hair wash. *Get your mahjong butt over here asap*

She gave me the "eh-whatever shoulder shrug". Fine, I forgave her for the 2nd time. I sat down and she continued with her mahjong game. I waited. 5 minutes. Waited. 10 minutes. Waited. 15 minutes. She finished like 3 rounds before attending to me.

At that point in time, I really wanted to slap her friking face. But I was patient. So she came to me and started washing my hair. Remember the 2 dodgy-looking uncles? They were staring at us (i.e. me trying to get my hair washed and her washing my hair). OMG. Dodginess to the max. They could have gone outside for a smoke or to the kopitiam next door for some coffee. But no. They wanted to look. FML.

OK fine. So, after shampooing, you would obviously need to rinse off the shampoo. So I walked up from my seat and went to that place where you would need to lie horizontally and your head would be in a sink. You can imagine it, right? OMG, the uncles were staring at that too! Major FML.

I felt totally uncomfortable and uneasy. Just imagine how you would have felt. Urghhh!

Fine, washing was done. Time for blow drying and doing the curls (by adding styling gel for curls). I took out my styling gel from my bag (yea, I bring my own stuff cuz I don't trust their products. I am that paranoid) and gave it to her. So, she applied some generous amount on her palm and began to run the gel through my curls.

Then, she asked this superbly dumb-ass question.
"Eh, this one is styling gel meh? How come it's like hair serum?"

I was totally speechless. Sim was using that same styling gel for the past few times on my curls. So I replied her, "Yea la, it IS styling gel. Look what it says on the bottle" (She obviously didn't know how to read cuz I had to speak to her in Mandarin. I was kind enough to translate the above dialogue into English).

She looked skeptical. I told her to just apply the damn thing and shut the hell up (OK, I skipped the latter part).

After applying, obviously you would need to blow dry the hair again so that the gel would absorb into the hair and harden the curls. As she was doing that, she said (in Mandarin), "Wah, this gel very good ah"

Stupid hairdresser 0 vs Styvee 1.

I swear to God I will never ever ever ever go to that saloon again.

Do I look like an alien?

I hate people who stare. It not only pisses me off. It annoys the hell out of me. I will be like, "Excuse me *explitive*, wtf are you staring at? Do I owe you money or sth? Did I run over your dog?"

There are 2 categories of people who are starers:
1. Perverts in trains who sit opposite you and stare at you (God knows which part)
- It's just sad you know. I feel bad for them, because either they're not gettin' any or their still dissatisfied after gettin' some. And the worst part is, they have no shame! They stare at you, you give them the "wtf look", they continue staring. God!

2. Sorta educated people (mostly females) who usually cling onto their bfs and whisper stuff while staring at you.
- Seriously, what's wrong with these ppl? It's not like I have piercings on my eyeballs or tattoos on my lips. I'm normal. Like every other Malaysian out there (sadly). You know what I would do the next time? When they stare at me, I would quickly take out my phone and video tape them or better yet, take a photo (with flash). Let them have a taste of their own medicine. So, it's best to to sit or stand around singles (male/females) who have sth of more interest in their hands (like a novel, Ipod, newspaper).